Socialise ... without changing anyone other than yourself

These traits tend to be good if someone has chosen to be internally motivated.  This makes the traits ideal for people who want to socialise without changing anyone other than themselves.  They tend to be bad for people who socialise to change other peoples views and actions.

These 9 traits are shared under a Creative Commons Attribution licence (reuse allowed). The Creative Commons licence means that others may copy and distribute the 9 traits - but only if they give www.RespectExchange.com credit.

These 9 traits are the result of Jon Thorne's 20 years research into how people socialise on-line in some of the most complex organisations in the world. Jon has seen good things happen when people use these 9 GOOD traits.

An emotionally self-reliant person will………… 

1. Constantly confirm to themselves they are not subconsciously following other people's thoughts.  They identify, articulate and process their own emotions and thoughts by making time and space to reflect ... to write down ... their thoughts ... to form their own explicit thoughts. And if their explicit thoughts don’t lead to actions that work for them … they reflect and happily make a change in how I think ... to get actions that work for them and the people around them.

2. Have a desire ... a will ... a passion ... an ability ... to build a sequence of good choices ...   where each choice brings more positive outcomes than the ones before it.

3. Not think that to be liked they have to do what other people want them to.  They know that it is their level of their conviction that determines their success not the number of people following or liking them.  So ...they avoid comparing themselves against anything or anyone. Instead they accept themselves ... like themselves ... respect themselves ... feel at peace with themselves ... by comparing what they can do now against what they used to be able to do ...  with an ability to choose when they want to be happy with their own imperfections.  They are guilt free ... pride free ... at peace with themselves ... laugh a lot ... and choose when to be happy with their own performance.  Above all ... they feel liked by people who like them for who they are.

4. Manage their own emotions ... with their own inner ability, self-belief and strength to stop any person or any event influencing their emotions... unless they choose it to

5. Maintain long term friendships by doing things together ... by sharing experiences together  ... and NOT from having the authority to approve what the friend does, or the right to tell the friend what to do, or by excluding others from the friendship ... or by being more popular ... more successful ... better looking ... than the friend

6. Listen to people in need ... without those people feeling more right or more wrong ... or stupid ... in how they feel. And the people in need don't feel as though they are being told what to do.  The emotionally self-reliant person helps by sharing how they changed their own thoughts to get better actions ... in a way that gives the person in need a choice

7. Feel happy when good things happen to the people around them ... Without being jealous or envious of the other person.  Without feeling they have failed or missed out ... unlucky or want more.

8. Make each moment a positive one by seeing things that go wrong as opportunities to get something right

9. Learn by observing, doing, making ... so seek opportunities to do new things ... make new things ... socalising with as many people as possible ... from as diverse backgrounds as possible ... not just experts but people who have been there and done it.